Thursday, May 23, 2013

Creatavita's First Annual Commencement

Commencement season is in full swing and Creatavita is joining the celebration. Even if you have no graduates in your six degrees, watch this most-appropriate-for-our-purposes commencement address. Given by author  Neil Gaiman at the 2012 ceremony for Philadelphia's University of the Arts, you'd have to be a rock (or clinically depressed) to not find inspiration in this address.

To truly create the commencement experience, I suggest you get dressed up, grab your camera (which you haven't used since your cousin's wedding last summer), drive your car at least 5 blocks from your house and walk to your backyard. Be sure to wear shoes that look stunning, but prove to be impossible to walk in. Inclement weather will only help the experience; if the forecast calls for rain, make sure to leave your umbrella in the car. Find an uncomfortable folding chair and set it on the most uneven spot you can find. For even more fun, invite 10 most obnoxious strangers to join you, preferably some with small, unruly children. Make sure all of your chairs are positioned as close together as possible. Use a device with a small screen and put it as far away as you can; careening your body to attempt to actually see and hear the speaker will truly enhance the experience.

When the address is finished, stay seated in the chair for at least 2 hours.  Get a friend to read a list of the names of 782 people you've never met in your life and will probably never meet.  Make sure they have a bad sound system that squeaks and squeals and has a loud hum in it.  Then head to a crowded restaurant with a wait time of at least 45 minutes for a celebratory meal. Finally, head home to collapse and wonder what that was you just spent the entire day celebrating.

Here it is:

You can also now purchase the very cool book version of this address right here:

Or...perhaps you can find a copy at your local bookstore, if you are lucky enough to have one.


No comments:

Post a Comment