Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Carry On


Did you miss me? Of course you did!

You might not have noticed, but I've been gone for 2 weeks. I didn't mean to be. I was all set to keep coming at you with more Creatavita. But life got in the way. My life. And not in a good way. I lost my mojo. And I was not happy. In fact, I felt like a fraud. How could I tell these people how to live a creative, flourishing, fulfilling, think-positive life when I was barely hanging on? Couldn't do it. Couldn't lie to you.

What did I do? I got angry, felt frustrated, definitely felt depressed. But I carried on.  Yes, I did. And that's what you need to know.

I carried on. I kept living, I kept showing up, I kept doing the tasks on my task list (okay, not all, but as many as I could). I did take a couple of days off over Labor Day Weekend. By then, all efforts to shake my fraudness were futile. The only thing I could do was live. So I did. Spontaneously.

And you know what? I started to feel better. I even sat down to write a different post than this one. About gratitude. I'll post it later because gratitude is very important to Creatavita. Very important. But I couldn't even finish that post. It didn't feel honest. I couldn't do that to myself or to you.

And that's when I realized what I needed to tell you.

I need to tell you that when the going gets tough, carry on. Keep going. Put one foot in front of the other, even though that voice inside your head is telling you to stay in bed (yes, that rhymes). Keep that vision, crazy as it feels, right in front of your eyeballs. Maybe you won't be your usual stellar fascinating self. Maybe you won't accomplish everything at your typical high-functioning level. But you'll be you and the parts of life that matter to you will happen. Eventually. That's important.

I was not always able to carry on. And there have been recent times when I have thrown up the white flag, crawled up into a ball and stayed in my bed. The ability to carry on is a trait that I have worked on over many years, and based on this last round, continue to work on. Let's call it a work in progress.

People have helped me with this. Let's call that roadside assistance. This is very important and we will be talking about it later. For now, let me tell you that The Beloved is number one, hands-down, on my list of People Who Taught Me How To Carry On. The Beloved is as durable as they come. He'll carry on until the bones are showing. And he does so with class and as much pleasure as he can muster. It's truly fascinating. I've been darn lucky to have him by my side.

So, like me, there's a good chance you're going to have to work on the carry on ability too.  You might not relish this thought.  Get over it and get to it.  If you don't have someone like The Beloved, know that I'm right here cheering you on. Seek out others who can assist you and open yourself to the possibility that you will be that assistant for someone else. Because like it or not, we're all in this together.

This ability to carry on is crucial for a Creatavita. Artists of all type must develop this skill because rejection is a huge part of the game. You have to, have to, have to figure out a way to deal with rejection and darkness because you will face it if you're going to be any kind of an artist. I said something on this topic to a former student last spring. He was bemoaning the quality of a production in which he had the title role, in the Big Apple no less. How dare he complain, right? I told him something like everyday, in all corners of this globe, people produce art in the bleakest of circumstances. Rise above and carry on.

For now, no fancy dancy videos or links to cool websites. No photos of cute cats. Merely me, telling you, carry on.

No comments: