The next installment in the You Need To Know This
series has been chosen by Nate Golden (www.nategolden.com). If
you live in Philadelphia, you can see Nate this holiday season all
over town, either as Fred/Young Scrooge in the Walnut St. Theatre's
production of A Christmas Carol, or on the gigundo video wall
at the Comcast Center as part of the Holiday Spectacular. I saw last year's version with Jiu-Jian Kenn and it was fun, more fun than I expected!I've worked with Nate as a performer and I've worked with Nate as a student. Of course he's talented, but more than that, he is smart about his career and he has a work ethic that doesn't quit. Nate has chosen:
Be Flexible
Some years back, I attended a wedding
shower for my dear friends Jean and Bob. Instead of playing those
silly Guess the Spices and Wear Bows on Your Head games, the hostess
asked every person in the room to spontaneously give Jean and Bob one
piece of advice to take into their marriage. I always get nervous at
moments like this. Will I say the right thing? Will I say the best
thing? What if my advice sounds silly? I'm sure it will sound
silly. Can't I think about it and get back to you?
Spontaneously I blurted out, “be
flexible”.
And as I'm writing this, on a rainy
November day all these years later, I recognize that the seed for
this post was planted that day.
Be flexible. Yes. That was the best
advice I could give to two wonderful humans who also happen to be
talented and creative. And it is still some of the best advice I
can give.
What? Be flexible? Wait, Heidi, you've
been telling us to get out act together, to have a plan and patiently persist.
You're right. I have some explaining to
do before one of you catches me in my internet web of lies and
deceit. Let's talk about that plan. If you followed my advice, that
plan has now been in your life for some time. And if you haven't
recently, now, yes NOW, would be a good time to pull it out of the file and take a look. Go ahead. I'll wait.
What'd you find? Let me guess. Some “Oh
yay, I did that!”. Some “Oh no, not THAT one.”. Some “Well,
that one didn't happen because.....” and there you go. Life
presented some unexpected happening and threw your plan off. The
unexpected happening wasn't necessarily negative, in fact, there is a
good chance it was positive. What's important right now is to
recognize that it threw off DA PLAN.
Congratulations. You were flexible.
Something changed and you went with it. Go have a cookie. Then come
back.
Because now we have to talk about how you
handled that change. Did it freak you out, even though it was
something you always wanted? Yup, change is a tough one. But you
better get used to it, because a Creatavita is nothing but a whole lotta
change.
Look, living a Creatavita is atypical. The
path curves, straightens, drops precipitously into a valley and in an
instant, rapidly ascends. A non-flexible approach guarantees the
simultaneous convergence of a severe case of whiplash and the Bends.
Both can lead to pain and in severe cases, death. Death of your
soul. Yuck.
When you allow a flexible approach to
take over, there's a good chance, that without even being aware, you'll stay more open to the world around you. Staying open is tough, but that's
when the living really starts. You meet new people, you consider
other possibilities, you experience a different vision of your life. Words like “I
hadn't thought of that before” start to fall out of your mouth.
Confidence wells up from deep inside of you as you allow yourself to
accept or NOT accept opportunities. Phrases such as “Me? Do that?
You're crazy!” are replaced with phrases such as “Wow. I never
thought of myself doing that. Thanks for that perspective.”
How to cultivate flexibility? Well,
start with those around you. We all need a little space now and
then. Start by being more generous to the people in your life. They
don't make it easy, I know, but seek out those moments when
your flexibility works in the best interests of everyone. Isn't that
what is called a win-win situation? Yeah, be a champion of the
win-win situations. Don't worry, you'll find them.
Be flexible with your creativity. We get
so wrapped up in wanting to be recognized as a great
fill-in-the-blank that we often lose the very seeds of what attracted
us to being creative in the first place. Step back from your art
form and try a different one. Go see a performance of some art form
that is completely foreign to you. Allow other creative forms and
people to inform your work. Trust your collaborators; try their ideas, even if it seems completely wacky. You can always to return to what you were doing before.
And above all, be flexible with yourself.
We can be so hard on ourselves, can't we? All because we want those
dreams to come true. Yet we need to practice recognizing the
unexpected opportunities that appear in our lives, because they just
might be the ones we really should be embracing.
This is also a good time for me to plant
this next little seed because I just know this topic is going to come
up here at Creatavita. Being flexible with yourself is one thing.
But flexibility when you're in a relationship? That's a whole
new ballgame with a whole new field and a whole new set of rules.
What can I say? Ask on the first date, “hey, are you flexible?” Good chance that'll get misconstrued, isn't
there?
Here's
what I can say. Live with the intention that you are going to be as
honest and open as possible, not only with those around you, but also
with yourself. Recognize
that life is not about controlling people and circumstances;
rather, it is about surrounding yourself with the circumstances and people who help you
thrive, as a person and as an artist. That is what is really important.
That's
it, friends. Live well. Keep breathing. Be flexible.